There's a certain irony that much of the material I teach and share is to help others exist within organizations that aren't a good fit for me personally. The thing about business rules is that they're made up, and they can be rewritten. Doing this well takes a lot of energy, patience, care, self-reliance, time, and tenacity.
I spent about 10 years doing this work across 4 different companies. No one hired me to do this deliberately. To achieve the outcomes I was hired to realize, it required this. I eventually got good at it. But it came at a heavy toll. Through a lot of therapy and healing, I realized the damage I was doing to myself, trying to exist inside organizations where others didn't have the will or desire to rewrite business rules.
While I found ways to make good progress despite these conditions, I couldn't do that work anymore. Trying to exist in these organizations prevented my personal growth and affected all aspects of my life. I had to choose to work for myself because I learned that no company is more valuable than me.
I only arrived at this realization through extensive 1:1 work with a therapist. Not a workshop. Not a conference. Not a spreadsheet. Not a tool. Not a keynote. Not a checklist. Not a book. Not a degree. Not a course. Not a plan. And certainly not a person with a lot of followers or who gave great hot takes.
Your feed is filled with a lot of strong opinions and voices right now. Voices telling you what you should or shouldn't be doing. Opinions selling you seemingly simple ways to solve your complex problems. Views compelling you to like or comment on a subjective diagnosis of what's right or wrong in the world.
While you can learn the mechanics of business, communication, design, product, management… and so many other things through instruction and practice, IME, there are no shortcuts to learning how to value yourself in new ways. It's work that no one else can do for you. It can't be outsourced.
I want you to know I'm proud of you. You're doing a good job right now because you're here. You exist. You keep showing up in the best way you can. There is no ship date on adulting. Adulting well is not easy and is always a work in progress. We weren't built to be exposed to this much genocide, pain, anger, resentment, tension, shame, anxiety, etc., all at once. Finding some stability again might be a challenge. A therapist can help.
If you have the means to work with a therapist, I recommend https://therapyden.com (US) or https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ (UK) as a starting place.If you want to work with a professional coach, my first comment has a few people I know who are really good certified coaches.
If you don't have the means or are intimated by the whole idea of therapy or coaching, let me know. I'm happy to share what my experience has been like and answer any questions you might have.
